Adoption is a lifelong process.
When casually thinking about the idea of adoption, doesn’t it seem as though the image of babies comes to the forefront? Or young children? Adopted children grow up to be adults who can continue to struggle with acceptance – with themselves and with others. And as adopted adults become partners and spouses, new families are formed which can introduce additional acceptance-related difficulties.
Being adopted is not something that can be erased – it’s always with us. This is usually not a bad thing, it’s just a fact. At one time or another we were “given up,” even if it was for our own good. Depending on the circumstances of your adoption process, this makes it more of a challenge to allow ourselves to get too close, to trust, and to even see ourselves as part of a new family.
Adults who are adopted are especially attunted to grief and loss, as one of our earliest formative experiences was the loss of a birth mother, father, family, and sometimes country, culture and language, among other losses. Although in the adoption community we often prefer to focus on the gains of adoption, that loss of the first family comes first. Every story is different and complicated in its own way.